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The
Power of Vision for Your Marriage By
Kelli Bullard
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Amos
3:3 contains a vital message that applies to married couples. It says,
"Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" Often a couple
will marry without first discussing important topics, such as money, sex,
children, employment, etc. When these issues surface later in the
relationship, couples may find their views differ greatly. The resulting
tension and arguments place unnecessary strain on a marriage relationship.
Can
these disagreements be avoided? How can couples resolve their differences
on such important issues? The answer lies in one simple word: vision.
Couples who are able to define a clear vision for their marriages find
that the arguing and fighting over key issues is greatly minimized. In
the April Rock Solid Marriage resource, Jimmy Evans is joined by his wife,
Karen, and David and Linda Smith, to discuss the importance of vision in a
marriage. They also offer practical steps to help couples define and
implement that vision. Here are excerpts from this helpful teaching: W "Proverbs
29:18 says, 'Where there is no vision, the people perish.' The word
'vision' there means 'mental sight - the ability to see a goal or a
destination.' When you don't have a clear vision of where you're going,
it's impossible to stay together. If you have no idea about your
destination, then how do you know when you've arrived? How do you know
when you're on the wrong path? The point is, you don't know." Seeing
Eye to Eye "When
you have a clear vision for your marriage, first of all it brings unity
into the marriage. You first agree. But you have to have a vision in order
to agree. If one person has one vision and another person has another
vision, it might be that you shouldn't get married, because you're going
two different directions and there's going to be a constant battle. You
need to have a vision that brings you together in marriage. Where there is
a vision, you can yoke together and stay together." Do
the Right Thing "The
other thing about a vision is it motivates positive behavior. When you
have a vision, it naturally motivates you to do the right thing. When you
have a vision of success before you, you naturally behave in such a way
that causes that to happen. When you have a vision for your finances, when
you have a vision for your children, when you have a vision for what your
marriage stands for and what it is going to produce in thirty years, it
automatically causes you to behave in such a way that will bring that
about." Weathering
the Storms "Having
a vision encourages you in difficult times. Every couple goes through
difficult times. A vision is like a lighthouse on a troubled sea. A vision
stands before you, and it is the stable thing when nothing else is stable.
It's the constant thing when nothing else is constant. When God gives you
a vision, He never changes His mind. The great thing about going to the
Lord and getting His vision for your marriage is that it's absolutely
stable. You go through a discouraging or difficult time, and that vision
stays before you as a motivator and also as a testimony that God has a
purpose for your life and that you're going to be able to get through this
troubled time." Straight
from the Source "There
are three sources of vision for your marriage, and the first is the Word
of God. God's Word is the universal place of vision that God has given all
of us. The second source is the Holy Spirit. When we pray and seek the
Holy Spirit for direction, He gives us personalized vision, specific
vision. The third way you get God's vision is through godly examples.
People don't succeed by accident. When someone is successful, it's because
they're doing something right. Use them as your example." The
Revelation "When
I first began in the ministry, I knew I had to have a vision for the
church if we were ever going to go anywhere. It's amazing, though, as a
pastor and leader of a large church, I did not apply that principle to my
home. I never even thought about Karen and I having a vision. One day
David Smith, a dear friend of mine from Orlando, Florida, began telling me
that he and his wife go on a vision retreat every year, a time that they
take every year to go and get God's vision for their marriage. So about
ten years ago, Karen and I did our first vision retreat. It absolutely
transformed our marriage in about a three-day period of time." The
Retreat David
Smith: "We go out of town for a minimum of three days, and we start
praying and asking God about goals that He wants for us, really almost
like a prayer list. You use the word 'goals' and some people kind of check
out, but really it's kind of a focused prayer list for each one of us as a
family. We go through the calendar and we schedule the entire year,
because if we don't, we won't have family nights, we won't have date
nights, we won't have our retreat times, we won't have vacation. If I let
the calendar crowd out all that stuff, we'll never end up doing it." Grow
on Purpose David:
"What happens is, you let all these other areas that really aren't
priorities take over what really is priority. We believe you've got to
grow your family and marriage on purpose, not by mistake. To us, that
means you have a vision for it, you plan toward it, you carry it out, you
accomplish that. If you don't do that, you're going to end up just letting
everything else crowd out anything that's really important to you, and you
don't accomplish what you really want." The
Benefit Karen
Evans: "I remember when we finished our first vision retreat, I felt
like a weight had been lifted off of us. There's just this oneness that's
light; it's not heavy. There's a peace in knowing that we agree." To
learn more about the importance of vision in your marriage and how to have
a vision retreat, order the tape series "How to Build Lasting
Romance, Intimacy and Sexual Pleasure in Marriage." In this series,
David and Linda Smith teach a session about "The Power of Vision for
Your Marriage."
WE
are ONE!!!
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